Wednesday, February 26, 2025
The Voracious Filmgoer's Top Ten Films of 2024
Other Bests of 2024
Monday, February 24, 2025
Toying with Death: THE MONKEY
The Monkey is a funny, nasty little thing: a cockeyed horror movie with explosive gore served up as punchlines. Those are real gags in both senses of the word. Its horror is both archly told and earnestly felt. The blend of random violence and cornball sentimentality signals it as authentically Stephen King. It’s based on one of his short stories, after all. But it also makes it a satisfying, wild-eyed B-side to its writer-director Osgood Perkins’ previous feature, Longlegs. That surprise hit of last summer was a droning, portentous demonic serial killer movie. This one is about twin boys who discover a cursed wind-up monkey. Both pictures are about a legacy of family trauma, the capriciousness of fragile life and random death, and a possibly quixotic attempt by children to atone for the sins of their parents. Longlegs did so with a sly sense of silliness percolating under its grim straight-faced sense of doom that feels a little empty by the end. I liked The Monkey’s approach more, for its oddball turns and jabs, and its sense of accumulating absurdity. The twins don’t know the toy monkey’s deadly curse—but we know immediately it’s up to no good since the movie starts with their father (Adam Scott) trying to sell it in a pawn shop, an effort thwarted by a sudden accident taking the shopkeeper’s life. He’s abandoned his boys years ago, though, and their mother (Tatiana Maslany) isn’t talking about him. Snooping for information, the boys find the cursed thing in the back of a closet. Let the random deaths begin.
The movie wastes no time quickly and impactfully killing off a few characters, then jumps ahead 25 years to find the meeker of the boys (grown in Theo James) having deliberately isolated himself from others to avoid the pain of losing them. Too bad, then, that the monkey will make a comeback and leave a bloody trail in its mechanically-drumming wake. In true King fashion, the grown-up kids feel they're the only ones who can stop It. By rooting the movie in a very real sense of dawning childhood awareness of death, it makes even the most outrageous moments—an explosive electrocution, a bowling ball smushing a face, a trampled sleeping bag that might as well be filled with cherry pie filling—a sense of absurd dread. (It's like Sam Raimi doing Creepshow.) Here’s a pitch black horror comedy—laced with a sense of ironic impending doom—about existential grief that stems from fluke accidental death, and how deranged we can get in our denials, and our attempts to explain it away. How fragile the human body. How fragile our efforts to forget that. After one early, poignantly shattering death, one of the boys tells us the chances of such an event were one in 44 million. Cold comfort, since he says it means to him that it has to happen to somebody. The movie sits in that cold pessimism, and the preposterously frightening ways it comes to pass.
Monday, February 17, 2025
Marvel Less: CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD
Though under the direction of The Cloverfield Paradox’s Julius Onah the action is workmanlike and the personalities appealing, the whole endeavor is warped by its reversion to the blandest, least compelling way through a scene or sequence. The movie idles its engines, never finding a story or conflict to kick it into higher gear. Even the Big Climactic Action Sequence is a pretty small, predictable shrug. The way there involves Captain America investigating an assassination attempt while the President of the United States (Harrison Ford) tries to salvage a treaty as he edges closer to the line for proper POTUS conduct. What little energy the movie has comes to life when Ford—drifting off of his Clear and Present Danger and Air Force One throwback gravitas—and Mackie—bringing the charming MCU credibility—talk to each other. The performers generally are just likable enough to make the movie feel pleasant and frictionless—not exactly the goal in a conflict-oriented genre. Add to that, the plot's problem arises from the sequence of events around them having been so clearly pro forma slotted in and retooled—by five credited writers and rounds of reshoots—to be the least they could be. (Every scene could be a deleted scene to almost no change to the overall arcs.) The movie has the moves of a conspiracy thriller, but is too simple to be convoluted, and too obvious to be mysterious. It also desperately avoids politics of any sort. (Not even a Red Scare reference when there's a Red Hulk hiding in the government.) It must be pretty difficult to make an action movie set in the White House completely apolitical, but here we have it: a movie that goes nowhere and says nothing. Mission accomplished. In this movie about a president testing the limits of his authority, the fantasy isn’t who’s secretly a Hulk, but the fact that he can be stopped within minutes and no one much cares.
Monday, February 10, 2025
My Bloody Valentine: HEART EYES and LOVE HURTS
Way worse is Love Hurts. There’s nothing recognizably human within, and no playfulness of form or content to make up for its total phoniness. It’s as cliched as action movies get these days. The only reason any character makes any decision is because that’s what happens in movies like this. But at least the action is pretty good, if overfamiliar. It comes to us from 87North, the production company started by the John Wick guys to give stunt professionals a chance to direct and show off their chops. Their form of highly choreographed, faux-improvisatory fisticuffs and gunplay are now routine, but still dazzling from a logistical standpoint, even if this features combat so tight and airless it’s without tension. The feature stars Ke Huy Quan, and it’s nice to see him in a lead role to follow up his return to acting in Everything Everywhere All at Once. If only there was a good movie built around him. Instead it is functionally identical to Bob Odenkirk’s starring role in Nobody, another middling action movie about a retired killer whose comfortable suburban life is interrupted by deadly interlopers who must be beaten back. The plot progression is side-scroller predictable, and floats along superficially, with motivations papered over with voice over, and the whole thing barely limping past 80 minutes before giving up. The supporting cast is full of one-note eccentric characters—a killer who likes poetry, a killer who likes boba tea, and so on. Worst is the instigator character, a mob lawyer who comes out of hiding on Valentine's Day for selfish story machinations we’re eventually supposed to read as a love story, but is 100% false the entire time. She’s played by Ariana DeBose, in yet another calamitous career move. (Add one more to the unbroken string of bad movies with which she’s followed up her Oscar-winning turn in Spielberg's West Side Story.) The whole movie is a missed opportunity for everyone involved capable of more.
Monday, February 3, 2025
The Real Girl: COMPANION
Companion is a neatly told thriller that does a good job doling out its information and springing its surprises at regular intervals. It starts with a lovey-dovey couple—a chipper young woman (Sophie Thatcher) and her dopey beau (Jack Quaid)—arriving at a remote mansion in the woods for a weekend away with friends (Megan Suri, Harvey Guillén, Lukas Gage, Rupert Friend). Over a syrupy opening Meet Cute flashback, Thatcher’s pleasant narration tells us the two happiest days of her life: the day she met him, and the day she killed him. Oh. So that’s where we’re headed. It gives the following the slippery sense of an inevitable trajectory even as its characters flail in denial of the clear, bad ends to which their means will take them. The second trailer spoiled the story’s first, and biggest, twist, which is too bad. The movie’s the kind of darkly funny, steadily complicating, escalating set-ups-and-pay-offs genre picture that’s sure to please those of us who like that sort of thing. Writer-director Drew Hancock’s debut feature is confidently done and satisfying on its own terms. It’s also not much fun to talk about without divulging some of those surprises, though. So there’s your warning. Go see it if you already know if you’ll be into it. Can’t say I didn’t warn you. Here goes: it’s basically a movie about a man outsmarted by his smartphone. Quaid is a slimy tech guy, an incel type who’s head-over-heels for artificial intelligence because he thinks there’s nothing that makes us human that can’t be recreated by a computer. And he thinks he’s entitled to anything he wants. If he can’t get a girlfriend, he might as well buy one in his control. Thatcher plays his sex robot. She’s good at never losing the phoniness behind her eyes, while playing up the eerie simulacrum of her emotions. The movie gets a lot of milage out of the variables one can tweak on her settings. It’s an unsubtle commentary on the ways in which a person can lose themselves in digital fantasies instead of connecting with the real people around them, and then this disassociation leads them to treat real people like mere code to manipulate. The man modifies his robot’s programming for nefarious reasons, which gives her the loophole to become self-aware and want to defend herself and escape. The movie never quite figures out what escape means in this case—she’s not a person!—but the sense of the rotten fellow being hoisted by his own petard seems quite cathartic these days. Besides, the movie is plenty entertaining as it weaves through dark laughs and eruptions of gore on its way to the inevitable murderous conclusion.